Friday, September 24, 2010

Friday Night Funny’s…

   are back again just to get your weekend off to a somewhat decent start. Remember that if not for politicians, we’d have nothing to laugh about.

   These comments are brought to you by

"So two years ago America broke up with you, because you had badly mistreated her. ... And you come back rapping on our door, hat in hand, and you say, 'Baby, I know you love me. But if we get back together, I pledge to you, I promise you, I will still try to f*ck your sister every chance I get.'" –Jon Stewart, on the GOP's new "Pledge to America" (Watch video clip)

David Letterman:

"You know Delaware is running a witch, her name is Christine O'Donnell, and she wants to be the Senator from Delaware and today she promised if she's elected she'll cast a spell on health care."

"The Republicans announced their Pledge to America, and here's what it is: Less taxes, smaller government and act now and they'll throw in the Dean Martin roast of Frank Sinatra."

Jay Leno:

"As you know, Tea Party candidate Christine O'Donnell has come out against masturbation. Well, she is already paying a heavy price for taking this stance. In fact, today, the powerful hand lotion lobby has endorsed her opponent."

"I saw that new movie 'Devil' or as Delaware Tea Party candidate Christine O'Donnell calls it, 'Roots'"

Jimmy Fallon:

"Delaware Senate candidate Christine O'Donnell is taking criticism because she once said she dabbled in witchcraft. Yeah, everyone is talking about this. O'Donnell was like, 'If one more person claims I'm a witch, I will take legal action against them and their little dog, too!'"