Be INFORMED

Friday, April 01, 2011

Friday Funnies

  I actually had some work this week which was a good thing, I guess. 20 hours was a bit of a disappointment but the pay was excellent.

   Have a great weekend Everyone!

Conan O'Brien :

"President Obama says that he prays every night before bed. Or as Fox News reported, 'Obama in Daily Talks With Allah.'"

"Obama said that one solution for using less oil is more nuclear power. He also admitted that he doesn't follow the news."

"General Electric did not pay any taxes at all last year. Of course that’s because G.E. reported its sale of NBC as a charitable donation."

Jay Leno:

"Newt Gingrich said he's afraid America will become an atheist country dominated by radical Islamists. Right. Our big problem could be religious atheists, almost as bad as pacifist warmongers. If they hook up with the communist capitalists we're screwed."

"We're down to the final four now. Only four Middle East countries we haven't attacked."

"Congress is mad at President Obama because he didn't consult them before the war in Libya. Congress got us into two other wars and put us 14 trillion dollars in debt. I can't imagine why he didn't consult them."

"In the wake of record losses, the U.S. Postal Service announced it is cutting 7,500 jobs. But a spokesman for the post office said those positions could be restored if this whole email thing turns out to be nothing but a fad."

Bill Maher:

"Michele Bachmann threw her hat into the ring. We think she's going to be running for president. For those who find Sarah Palin too intellectual. Michelle Bachman for President. As a comedian, all I can say is, where can I donate to this cause?"

"If Bachman and Palin get in to the presidential race, that's two bimbos. And there there's Mitt Romney, the millionaire and Newt Gingrich, a professor. We just need a skipper and a buddy and we've got 'Gilligan's Island.'"

"A new poll shows that one of the major parties in this country – I won't tell you which one – is a majority birther party. That's right, more than half of Republicans now think Obama was born in Kenya. They literally do not know where babies come from."

0 Comments: