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Friday, June 10, 2011

Friday Funnies: The Weiner Edition

   It’s  the weekend and what better way to kick it into gear than with some Weiner jokes?  You all knew that this was coming, so just sit back and enjoy it. What else do you have to do?

 

The Daily Show

 

Conan O'Brien : "It turns out that one of the women Congressman Anthony Weiner was communicating with was a porn star. When asked how it was possible to get involved with someone in such a sleazy business, the porn star said, 'I don't know.'"

51 percent of New York voters think Congressman Weiner should keep his seat in office. The other 49 percent think that he should disinfect it."

"Congressman Weiner reportedly called Bill Clinton to apologize for his behavior. After Bill suggested that Weiner also call Hillary, Weiner said, 'Don't worry, I sent her a text.'"

Jon Stewart: “What?! The congressman had a sex scandal and had to apologize to Bill Clinton? For what?! Copyright infringement?"

Jay Leno : "This is why Twitter exists. Members of Congress can now send you pictures of their penises electronically. Remember the old days of Senator Larry Craig when you had to get in your car, drive to the airport, find the airport bathroom, try to figure out which stall he's in, knock on the door...Now they send it right to your house."

"Congressman Weiner has admitted that he did carry on explicit online relationships with six different women. Well, he thought they were women. Turns out three were woman, one was a guy pretending to be a woman, and the other two were congressmen."

"A second woman has come forward now. She says she has over 200 explicit sex messages from the married congressman. She says they're very short messages. Like cocktail wieners."

Stephen Colbert : Democrats don't share our values. An elected official is tweeting dirty photos of himself to strange women who he never meets for sex? Come on! At least Republican Chris Lee was trying to get some action! Republican politicians are man enough to hit that thing. Ensign, Vitter, even when it's a gay scandal! They're not tweeting love letters. They're tearing up an airport bathroom until somebody calls the cops on them!"

Craig Ferguson: "But I have to ask this: What kind of world are we living in when porn stars make Weiners go down?' It's reverse world!"

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