Friday, December 16, 2011

Friday Funnies: The Republican Party Clowns Edition


David Letterman; "A campaign staffer on the Newt Gingrich campaign was fired because he was making negative comments about Mormons. I thought, 'Wait a minute, isn't Newt in favor of multiple wives?'"

"Michele Bachmann is picking running mates. That's like the Colts picking out Super Bowl rings."

"More good news for Newt Gingrich. Earlier today, he was endorsed by the voices in Glenn Beck's head."

"Newt has a holiday book out. 'The Newt Before Christmas.'"

Jay Leno: "Rick Perry said there were eight supreme court justices instead of nine. But, in his defense, he did know there were only three judges on 'Dancing With the Stars.'"

"Perry also said the Obama administration sent $500 million to the 'country of Solyndra.' If an energy company was a country, don't you think we would've invaded it by now?"

"Rick Perry was interviewed in a library, and they placed special books that were kind of mean: "Runnin' Texas for Dummies," "Supreme Court for Dummies," "Dumb & Dumber for Dummies."

Conan O'Brien: "Newt Gingrich released a statement promising he would not cheat on his wife. Even better, he said he wouldn't cheat on his next wife either, or the one after that."