Saturday, December 31, 2011

Sunday Satire: New Years Day Edition

  The first day of the year! Only 364 more days until 2013

                HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!


Jay Leno: "President Obama went Christmas shopping at Best Buy in Virginia this week. He had to go to Best Buy because he's not allowed to go to Walmart, because China said, "You can't buy any more stuff from us until you pay off what you already owe us."
"While shopping at Best Buy, out of force of habit, President Obama put everything on layaway. He told the store, "Don't worry about it; the grandkids will pay for it."

''Obama called on Americans to have more grandchildren. Probably so there's more of them to pay off our debt.''

Bill Maher: ''Sarah Palin said Obama should stop 'pussyfooting around' and release the photos. Yes, because the guy who ordered the SEALs into a sovereign country without permission and killed public enemy number one is a pussy, and the woman who quit her job as the governor of a state with no people after half a term and won't do an interview with anyone but Greta Van Susteren is a bad-ass. Right.''

''Hank Williams Jr. got his ass kicked off of Monday Night Football. His crime was comparing Obama to Hitler on Fox News. Or as it used to be called, 'The Glenn Beck Show.' ... If we are going to fire every Southern hillbilly who thinks Obama is like Hitler, who will be our Republican congressmen?''

Conan O'Brien: ''This morning on the 'Today' show, Jenna Bush interviewed Ozzy Osbourne. Ozzy was so confused and inarticulate that Jenna accidentally called him 'dad.'''

David Letterman: ''Herman Cain was unaware that China is a nuclear power. And I said to myself, 'Hey, Herman, how about making an unwanted advance on a history book?'''