Friday, July 13, 2012

Saturday Satire: Those Darned Republicans


Jay Leno: "Mitt Romney told the crowd at an NAACP conference that if he were elected president he would fight for all millionaires, black or white."

"Mitt Romney's campaign raised $35 million more than President Obama for the month of June. Out of force of habit, Mitt stashed it all in the Cayman Islands."

"At a Democratic fundraiser in Seattle earlier this week, Vice President Biden said that Romney's economic policies were 'George Bush on steroids' – as opposed to Obama's policies, which are 'Jimmy Carter on Ambien.'"

"In Mexico, the loser of their presidential election is accusing the winner of election fraud. He says the winner bought millions of votes. To which Mitt Romney said, 'You can do that?'"

"An awkward moment for Mitt Romney today in Colorado. A homeless guy asked him for a dollar, but all he had was Swiss Francs"



Jimmy Kimmel: "Mitt Romney gave a speech at the annual NAACP conference in Houston. Why, I don't know. Maybe he confused NAACP with NASCAR."

"Romney isn't very popular among African-American voters. In fact, diabetes is more popular among African-American voters than Mitt Romney."


Jimmy Fallon: "In a new interview, Mitt Romney said he doesn't know where his financial records are because he doesn't manage them. Yeah, he would have said more, but he had to give a speech on why he's the perfect guy to fix the economy."

"The White House is telling Americans not to 'read too much' into Friday's bad jobs report. Or as Americans put it, 'You had me at 'don't read too much.'"