Friday, August 31, 2012

Friday Funnies: The Republican Convention

  Being in Tampa and keeping up on the convention, I can honestly say that it was a sad and sorry affair.  I think that the father of lies is no longer Satan, but Paul Ryan because he was full of them. He even managed to surpass Mitt Romney, no easy feat.

Jay Leno: "Donald Trump was bumped from speaking at the Republican convention because of Hurricane Isaac. See, nobody ever talks about the good things hurricanes do."

"Some of the Republicans, I think, are over-reacting to Hurricane Isaac — like today Rick Santorum was seen gathering up two of every animal."

"According to a new poll, Mitt Romney is at zero percent among African Americans. Here’s the sad part: That’s up 5 percent from last week."

"According to a poll released last week, Mitt Romney has zero percent of the black vote. In fact, if it weren't for John Boehner, Romney wouldn't have any support from people of color at all."

"President Obama is seeking to make his case with first-time voters. Well, you can understand why. Second-time voters have graduated and can't find a job."

"Actually, Mitt Romney and Hurricane Isaac have something in common. They can both change directions at any moment."

Conan O'Brien: A group of coal miners in Ohio said that their bosses forced them to attend a Mitt Romney campaign event. You know you're boring when people would rather dig coal than listen to you speak."

David Letterman : "This year the theme of the Republican convention is '50 Shades of White.'"

"Tampa could be hit by Hurricane Isaac, and they might have to cancel or postpone the Republican National Convention. A hurricane headed directly for the Republicans – and more proof that God is a woman."

Bill Maher: "They’re all going down to Tampa where an Evangelical party is going to nominate a Mormon and a Catholic and then get wiped out by a hurricane…leaving Florida to the Jews as God intended."

"Mitt Romney went birther today. He was in Michigan, hwere he was born, and he said, 'No one has ever asked to see my birth certificate.' Right, because you weren't born. You have a warranty card."