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Saturday, November 10, 2012

Saturday Satire: Sandy, Obama, and Republicans

   Bill Maher on Hurricane Sandy: “Everyone is asking how this storm is going to affect the election. I think it’s given Obama momentum because of how he handled it. He approached it so differently than Bush; he showed up."

"Obama's been getting bipartisan praise for how he handled the hurricane. Even Fox News tried to praise it. Of course, they're heart's not in it. The best they could do was Pat Buchana said, "You're doing a heck of a job, Brownie.'"

"Of Fox News they're obsessed with Benghazi. They want answers. They're like a teen boy reaching into a pair of panties for the first time. They're not sure what it is, they're not sure where it is but they know there's something in there and they're going to find it."

"What happened is Romney had a rally where they bought $5,000 worth of canned goods from Wal-Mart, handed them out to their supporters, and then had their supporters pretend to be giving them to the victims for the cameras. Because that's what Mitt is all about -- people. People pretending to help people. Later on he gave blood, then stole it back and chugged it."

Jay Leno: "They did not have Halloween in New Jersey Wednesday night. Governor Chris Christie postponed it by executive order until Monday. However, he did spend the day scaring Republicans by praising President Obama."

"Italy's former prime minster Sylvia Berlusconi has been sentenced to four years in prison for tax evasion. You know what you get in America for tax evasion? The Republican presidential nomination."

"Last night I answered the door and there was a kid lying on the porch. He was playing dead. I said: 'What are you supposed to be?' He said: 'the economy.'"

David Letterman : “ Well, it’s over, and as usual, the guy from Kenya won.”

"Mitt Romney is reminding everybody about changing your clocks. He's urging his voters, his constituents, and all Americans to turn your clocks back to 1954."

"It took hurricane-force winds to blow a Democrat and a Republican together."

Jimmy Fallon: "This week the U.S. unveiled a larger, more convenient checkpoint at the border with Mexico. And then Mexicans unveiled a larger, more convenient tunnel around it."

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