Jay Leno: "Scientists in Stockholm say hundreds of jellyfish have shut down a nuclear reactor. Hey, that's nothing. In this country, a bunch of spineless jellyfish have shut down the entire government."
"And as you know, all nonessential employees were sent home – like President Obama's economic team."
"And because of the shutdown, even the Smithsonian Institute is closed. And as a result, tourists who come to Washington and want to see historical relics... they're now being sent to John McCain's office."
David Letterman: "People are saying now that before the government shutdown congressmen went out and got drunk – celebrating that they had shut down the government. This is the kind of thing that could damage their 10 percent approval rating."
"They say it's a partial government shutdown, and I can remember something similar happened. It was like the government was shut down for eight years when Bush was president."
Conan O'Brien: "People have events in the national parks and they're canceled because of the shutdown. There was a KKK rally scheduled to be held in a national park that was canceled. This was bad news for the KKK but good news for the park's black bears."