Friday, October 11, 2013

Friday Funnies: Shutdown Edition

"They said today that the government shutdown will not interfere with NASA's next mission to Mars. Isn't that ironic? We can go to Mars but we can't go to the Statue of Liberty." –Jay Leno

"What the difference between the government and Motel 6? Motel 6 can afford to keep the lights on." –Jay Leno
"This shutdown is so bad, Harry Reid was forced to take a part-time job as an extra on The Walking Dead." –Jay Leno

"During a press conference yesterday, President Obama said that Congress needs to raise the debt ceiling because there aren't any other quote 'rabbits in our hat.' Plus, they're still tired from their last trick, where they made thousands of jobs disappear." –Jimmy Fallon

"Despite the shutdown, the congressional gym in Washington, D.C., remains open. The congressional gym is like any other gym except the customers are the dumbbells." –Craig Ferguson

"A new survey found that 9 percent of Americans have considered giving up their U.S. citizenship because of the constant arguing in Washington. Today, even Obama was like, 'Are you SURE I wasn't born in Kenya?'" –Jimmy Fallon