Sunday Funnies: Lip- Syncing, The NRA, Sarah Palin, and Other Washington, D.C. Wonders

  If you have noticed, I haven’t been doing to much posting over the past month. That would be due to life getting in the way. Work, and the other daily hassles that we face have been taking much of my time as has trying to plan a wedding. That alone is a very consuming task, to say the least. I’ll try to put things up a little more often, time permitting.

Bill Maher: "Already the Obama administration has been rocked by scandal. Beyonce lip-syncing; or at least we think she was lip-synching. Manti Te’o said it sounded very real to him."

"Lip-synching – let that be a lesson; if you are in Washington DC and you open your mouth and another voice comes out, it better be the NRA, an oil company, or a bank."

"Gov. Bobby Jindal of Louisiana said 'we must stopped being the stupid party.' Good luck with that. When Sarah Palin heard that, she demanded an apology. She said, 'How dare he insult hard-working, patriotic, idiotic Americans like me.'"

Jimmy Kimmel: "New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is getting big-time financial support for his re-election campaign, a fundraiser hosted by Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg. That means the creator of the world's largest social network is raising money for the world's largest governor."

"Did you know when you poke Chris Christie on Facebook, your computer giggles like the Pillsbury Doughboy?"

Jay Leno: "House Speaker John Boehner said that President Obama's focus is to annihilate the Republican Party. Do Republicans look like they need any help from President Obama? They're doing a hell of a job themselves."

Conan O'Brien: "The Pentagon has allowed women to serve in combat. Yeah, the hope is that we can now finally defeat the Taliban by giving them the silent treatment."

"North Korea said it will test a rocket that they hope will hit the United States. In other words, watch your back, middle of the Pacific Ocean."

"Arnold Schwarzenegger has signed on to a new 'Terminator' film. Due to his age, this one features the catchphrase, 'I'll be back right after 'Wheel of Fortune.'"

  Sarah Palin, Blast from the past:

 

Technorati Tags: Sarah Palin,The NRA,Washington,Barack Obama,John Boehner,Late Night Talk,Political Humor,Conan O'Brian,Bill Mahar,Current Events,Friday Funnies

Friday Funnies: Barack Inauguration, The Republican Party, and Other Garbage

Bill Maher: "The best advertisement for torture is not Dick Cheney and people like that who support it, it is Hollywood. At the Golden Globes, it's movies. Ben Affleck won for playing a CIA officer, Claire Danes won for playing a CIA officer, Jessica Chastain won for playing a CIA officer and of course, Julianne Moore won for playing Sarah Palin, a master of counter intelligence."

Stephen Colbert: "Where did we go wrong? The Republicans had everything going for them – a terrible economy, an unpopular incumbent, and a positive message for the American voter: 'less than half of you are parasites.'"

Conan O'Brien: "At the inaugural ball, President Obama was caught doing some very stiff and awkward dance moves. In other words, Obama is already reaching out to Republicans."

"During the inauguration, a teenage boy was spotted flirting with Malia Obama. At this moment, the boy is being flown to a remote location in Afghanistan."

"In his inaugural address, President Obama said America's possibilities are limitless. Unfortunately at that moment Lance Armstrong shouted out, 'That's what I used to think."

Jay Leno: "On the news they made a big deal out of the fact that four years ago there were twice as many people at President Obama's first inauguration than there was at this one. That's because four years ago, twice as many people could afford to stay in hotels."

"Thousands of dead fish have now washed up on shore along the coast of South Carolina. Today the NRA said that this wouldn't have happened if those fish had guns."

"Ann Romney, the wife of Mitt Romney, has reportedly turned down a chance to appear on 'Dancing With the Stars.' Apparently, she has something called 'self-respect.'"
"Actually, she says she loves to dance and is a big fan of the show, but she said she'd rather stay home with the Biggest Loser."

"Actually, you know who gave the shortest inauguration speech in history? George Washington. It was only like three minutes long. Well, sure. George Washington couldn't tell a lie."

"The CEO of Whole Foods is criticizing Obamacare, once again calling it fascism. He did this before when he called it socialism. And he said the problem with socialism is eventually you run out of other people's money. As opposed to shopping at Whole Foods, where you eventually run out of your own money."

"If the NRA keeps messing with the President's daughters, they're going to have to start worrying about Michelle Obama's guns." -–Bill Maher, referring to the first lady's arm muscles

Jimmy Fallon: "In a recent attack ad, the NRA claims that President Obama cares about his own children more than he cares about other children. In response, President Obama was like, 'Yeah, that's how families work.'"

"On Sunday the White House will hold a private swearing-in ceremony for President Obama. Not to be outdone, on Sunday Republicans will hold a private swearing-AT ceremony for President Obama."

Technorati Tags: Political Humor,Late Night Talk,Barack Obama,Inauguration,NRA,Bill Mahar,Jay Leno,Current Events