What else is there to laugh about? John Boehner can’t get the Teapot Party or any other Republicans to vote for his debt ceiling bill, and President Obama doesn’t have a clue, much less a spine.
John Boehner hunting for Republican votes to get his debt ceiling bill passed in the House
Jimmy Fallon: "This debt crisis still isn't solved, but yesterday, the White House said it's working on a 'plan B.' Unfortunately, the B stands for 'bake sale.'"
"Speaking of the debt crisis, I read that if the U.S. debt were stacked in $100 bills, it would be as long as two football fields and as high as the statue of liberty. You know, just in case $14 trillion didn't seem like a lot to you."
"Rumor has it that Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton are friends again. There you have it. Lindsey Lohan and Paris Hilton are now more mature than President Obama and John Boehner." "
Jimmy Kimmel: "They say that the United States might default on its loans and China might foreclose. We'll have to move into a cheap rental country or something."
"President Obama urged the American people to call Congress and demand that both parties work together on a compromise. The calls are 99 cents for the first minute, and a trillion dollars for each additional minute."
"Sarah Palin said that if a deal isn't reached by Aug. 2, nothing will happen. Do you hear that, award-winning economists?"
Conan O'Brien: "The government is less than a week away from not being able to pay its bills. We may have to move in with Canada for a while."
David Letterman: "We are over $14 trillion in debt, but the 'feels like' is $20 trillion."
"Jeb Bush is toying with the idea of running for president. Well, I'm toying with the idea of drinking again."
"The number one movie in the country is "Captain America." Analysts say this movie is successful because it takes place in the 40's and has a retro feel. The film takes audiences back to a time where America could actually fight a war and get out of a depression at the same time. Whole different thing from today."
"A record 46 percent of Americans think Congress is 'corrupt.' The other 64 percent think Congress is 'extremely corrupt.'"
"According to a new poll, President Obama is losing support from his own party. To give you an idea how bad it is, today Jimmy Carter compared him to Jimmy Carter."