Sunday Morning Funnies With Our Favorite Politicians

     While everyone else in the universe (mostly) will be covering the usual Sunday morning political pundits who happen to be making the interview shows, I've decided to post some of the latest jokes from our lovely late night comedians and maybe even a few politicians themselves.

"The head of the World Bank, Paul Wolfowitz, resigned after getting in trouble. He promoted his girlfriend and gave her a job at the Bank. That's big news. A Republican forced out over a sex scandal involving ... a woman?!" --Jay Leno

"Porn star Jenna Jameson has officially endorsed Hillary Clinton for president. So, looks like Bill already calling in all the favors." --Jay Leno

"Republicans in Texas think you need a course on how to keep a marriage together. Who's going to teach it? Rudy Giuliani? Newt Gingrich?" --Jay Leno

"Last night, they had another Republican presidential debate. ... Did you see those Republican candidates? They looked like the evil law firm in a John Grisham movie." --David Letterman

"Last night marked the second Republican debate. And the main difference this time? [on screen: Fox News Channel's Brit Hume saying the debate is being sponsored by Fox News and the SC GOP]. Isn't that redundant?" --Jon Stewart

"I'm happy to report that Vice President Dick Cheney has returned from the Middle East. And he certainly straightened that mess out. ... He made a stop in Egypt, as a matter of fact, on the way home. Apparently, Halliburton wants to rebuild the pyramids." --David Letterman

"President Bush's approval ratings have taken somewhat of a dive. A senior slump, if you will. Leading President Bush to one conclusion: He is the only one who realizes what a great job he's being doing." --Jon Stewart

"You know if I had nickel for every time Bush has mentioned 9/11, I could raise enough reward money to go after Bin Laden." --Jon Stewart

"I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands on things. Things like aircraft carriers, and rubble, and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message that no matter what happens to America she will always rebound with the most powerfully staged photo-ops in the world." --Stephen Colbert, at the WHCD

Tags: George Bush Congress Jay Leno Jon Stewart Stephen Colbert political

Baghdad Is Home To Worlds Largest Embassy

  In case you haven't read about it or seen it on the news stations yet, I am going to tell you about our new embassy compound in Baghdad, Iraq.

   First off, as is usual with anything the Bush crime family does, the embassy will be the most expensive one in the world and the largest one also.

   It is a 104-acre compound and you can bet that it is super secure and has all of the latest high-tech security gadgets in it and around it.

  If you are familiar with the Washington National Mall, then you know almost how big this place is as it would occupy an area two-thirds the size of the mall at a cost of  $592 million with enough desk area for 1,000 people. This is a 21-building complex so you can pretty much guess, correctly, that the United States is going to be there in some form for a very long time, maybe with limited troop deployment.

   It is noted by the Huffington Post  that this task is one of the very few undertaken by this administration that is within budget and on schedule.

  Of course it is. Bush and the rest of the Bushco Mafia can't waste time on their future hide-out, now can they. All of those ExxonMobile, BP executives have to have some place really safe to hang out in while they count their profits from that Iraqi oil that they are going to steal.

  One other tidbit:

The State Department and Congress have tussled this year over a $50 million request for additional blast-resistant housing. The department says it did not anticipate needing so many fortified apartments when the embassy was in the planning stages three years ago and Iraq was a less violent place.

The new Democratic-controlled Congress has grumbled about the approximately $1 billion annual cost of embassy operations in Iraq and told the administration the embassy is overstaffed at roughly 1,000 regular employees. Add security contractors, locally hired staff and others and the number climbs to more than 4,000.

"This is another case where poor planning, skyrocketing costs and security concerns are colliding in the Bush administration's policies in Iraq, and we need to make adjustments," said Sen. Patrick Leahy, chairman of the Senate panel that pays for State Department operations.

"They want hundreds of additional embassy staff who they cannot safely house within the new embassy compound. It's time for a reality check," said Leahy, D-Vt.   Huffington Post

   The embassy is set to open in September, so make your vacation plans and book your rooms now for the festivities!

Tags: U.S. Embassy Iraq Baghdad Congress Bush