Friday Funnies ( Two Days Late ): Golden Globes, Donald Trump, and Other Junk

Jay Leno: "Daniel Day-Lewis won a Golden Globe for playing Abraham Lincoln and Julianne Moore won for playing Sarah Palin. The foreign press realized that the greatest challenge for an actor in Hollywood is pretending to be a Republican."

"U.S. customs officials recently discovered 310 pounds of marijuana hidden in some frozen carrots. That's one way to keep kids away from drugs – put them in vegetables."

"Carrots and marijuana – how good will your vision be after THIS combination?"

Jimmy Fallon: "Republicans and Democrats are working on a new bill to streamline the healthcare system. It will reduce the cost of mammograms and prostate exams. But don't worry. They'll still be free at the airport."

"Prostitutes in Brazil have started learning English so they can communicate with out-of-town clients during the World Cup. They are learning key phrases like, 'You are very handsome' and 'Nice to meet you, Mr. Sheen.'"

Conan O'Brien: "President Obama is coming under criticism that his new administration has less diversity than his first one. Which is why this morning Obama said, 'All right, fine, I am a Muslim."

Jimmy Kimmel:

"President Obama held the final press conference of his first term in office this morning, talking mostly about the debt ceiling. He announced if Congress doesn't raise the debt ceiling America will go into default on its loans and we might have to say goodbye to Florida."

"It's a huge achievement for Governor Jerry Brown. Apparently you can get a lot done when you're not walking around saying 'I'll be back' all the time."

Technorati Tags: Barack Obama,Golden Globes,Political Humor,Late Night Talk,Jimmy Kimmel,Jay Leno,Conan O'Brian,Current Events

Petition To Build The Death Star Gets White House Response

   Yes, you are reading this correctly.

   35,000 people signed a petition to the White House which called for the construction of a Death Star much like the one in the Star Wars movies.  The signees were more than enough to get the response from the Obama Administration, and it was a pretty hilarious response, to say the least.

    Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget, Paul Shawcross, titled the response  "This Isn't the Petition Response You're Looking For."

A few snippets for you.

"The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn't on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:
• The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We're working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
• The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
• Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?"

     The entire response.

Technorati Tags: Death Star Petition,The White House,Obama Administration,Star Wars,Deficits,Current Events