Late-Night Shows Are Saying...

"Vice President Dick Cheney also in Iraq this week. Cheney told the Iraqi government that their leaders have to show some progress on both their domestic and economic fronts. And the Iraqis said to Cheney, 'Uh, you first.'" --Jay Leno

"Interesting fact came out today on the new $5 bill. It turns out it used to be the old $10 bill." --Jay Leno

"Today, Barack Obama criticized John McCain for mistakenly saying that Iran was sending aid to al Qaeda in Iraq, which is not true. And afterwards, President Bush told McCain, 'Don't worry about it. I didn't know that either.'" --Jay Leno

"As you know, Governor Paterson is legally blind, which has gotta be an advantage when you're having an affair. This way, when your wife catches you in bed with another woman, you go, 'Honey, I thought it was you.'" --Jay Leno

"That's the other big scandal on the East Coast. A male aide to former New Jersey Governor Jim McGreevey says the governor's wife should have known he was gay, because they all used to have three-way sex together. As he called it, a 'McThreevey.'" --Jay Leno

"So, let's see, Jim McGreevey was having three-ways. Eliot Spitzer was having sex with prostitutes. The new governor, David Paterson, was having an affair. You realize the only politician in New York not getting any sex -- Hillary Clinton." --Jay Leno

"Are you fold excited about March Madness? You know, here's how it works. We go from 65 to 32, then to 16, and then to eight and -- well, no, no, that's -- those are Hillary Clinton's superdelegates." --David Letterman

"Vice President Dick Cheney, you know where he is right now? He's in Baghdad. He visited there. While he was in Iraq, he said that it's a successful endeavor. At least I think that's what he said. It was hard to hear over the explosions." --David Letterman

"Speaking of that, this week marks the fifth anniversary of the Iraq war and the third anniversary of 'Mission Accomplished.' ... Remember critics saying, oh, the war was just about oil so we could keep the price of gasoline cheap? That worked out well, didn't it? Now we're the ones with shock and awe." --Jay Leno   About.com

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