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So, many of you will be hitting the highways to go visit the beaches, relatives, or lost loved ones on this weekend. Drive safe and be observant because stupid drunk drivers do not take holidays off.
We’ll see you next week unless the rapture groups only missed it by a week. Ha
Jimmy Fallon : "One of Sarah Palin's supporters is about to release a documentary about her called 'The Undefeated.' That's like a documentary about Arnold Schwarzenegger called 'The Faithful.'"
"Someone made a two-hour documentary about Sarah Palin's political life. In case you're interested in watching a movie that's longer than Palin's actual political life.'""Rudy Giuliani says he may run for President. So now we're up to 7 candidates and 35 ex-wives."
"Herman Cain, the former CEO of Godfather's Pizza, announced that he's running for president. And this is cool — if his campaign isn't over in 30 minutes or less, you get your pizza for free."
Jay Leno: "The Rapture-predicting preacher, Harold Camping, is really scaling back his predictions. He now predicts the end of the month will be May 31."
"President Obama is on a visit to England. He told the Queen yesterday, 'I like your tea parties much better than the ones we have in America.'"
"They drive on other side of the road there, so Obama had to switch sides — kind of like Mitt Romney is doing over here."
"I don't want to say Tim Pawlenty is boring, but Joe Biden is accusing him of identity theft."
Conan O'Brien : "New video has surfaced of Arnold Schwarzenegger in 1991 saying the housekeeper does a 'great job.' One clue might have been that he then added, 'And she's also a great housekeeper.'"
"Kirstie Alley did a cartwheel on 'Dancing With the Stars.' But President Obama is refusing to release the pictures."
"Last night at a Texas Ranger game ex-President Bush almost got hit with a foul ball. He vowed revenge on the player, but we all know Obama will be the one to actually get him."
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