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Conan O'Brien: "Obama said the housing market may not pick up again for another year or longer. On the bright side, President Obama now has nine people interested in his house."
"Texas Governor Rick Perry distanced himself from George W. Bush by saying, 'I went to Texas A&M. He went to Yale.' In other words, his idea of instilling confidence is by saying, 'Don’t worry. I’m not as smart as George W. Bush.'"
The White House sent Vice President Joe Biden to China today. So now we owe them a trillion dollars AND an apology."
"Michele Bachmann said that when she is president, gas prices will come down to less than $2 a gallon. When asked how she’ll make that happen, she said she'll hunt down the CEO of Exxon and stare at him."
Jimmy Kimmel: "Perry is an attractive candidate for many conservatives, because he wants smaller government, to cut national spending, and he knows how to fire a grenade launcher. He’s like the Sarah Palin of politics."
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