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David Letterman: “They’re saying now it looks like the state of Michigan is swinging toward Rick Santorum. And I think if there’s a word that best describes Rick, it’s ‘swinging.’”
“They’re saying now that Rick Santorum is gaining momentum because he’s not Romney. And Mitt Romney was furious. He replied, ‘Well, I can do that.”
"Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum are both against gay marriage. Really, against gay marriage? I tell you, the problem with this is they’d make such a cute couple.”
Bill Maher: “We have a new frontrunner for the Republicans, Rick Santorum…the little creep that could.”
“Poor Mitt Romney, he’s got the money, he’s got the organization, he’s got the name recognition. He has one weakness: an inability to get votes.”
“You can tell that this Santorum surge has Mitt Romney a little rattled. He was at the CPAC Convention today, and he showed up in a sweater vest with a fetus in a jar.”
"Contraception is back in the news, Planned Parenthood -- issues that have been real losers for Republicans in the past, especially with women. Makes Republicans lose their votes, makes them seem out of touch, but they say, 'We'll worry about that when women get the vote.'"
“Rick Santorum is against birth control, he’s against ordaining women as priests, he thinks two women kissing is immoral. See, this is the difference between me and Rick Santorum; neither one of us got a lot of dates in high school, but I just didn’t spend the rest of my life taking it out on women.”
“Romney, Gingrich, Santorum spent their week lecturing America about the morality of birth control. You know, you guys don’t need birth control, you are birth control.”
Seth Meyers: “Rick Santorum is hoping his three wins in the Republican primaries on Tuesday will position him as the conservative alternative to Mitt Romney. And I think that's reflected in his new campaign slogan: the other white meat.”
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