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David Letterman: “Over the weekend they gave Dick Cheney a heart transplant. Finally all of those midnight trips to the graveyard with the hunchbacked assistant have paid off.”
“Dick Cheney was talking to a reporter right after the surgery and he said he wants to live long enough to make sure nobody else gets healthcare.”
Conan O'Brien: “Newt Gingrich's campaign is charging people $50 to pose for a picture with Newt. And for $100 you can get one without Newt.”
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