Mr. Romney Has Ceased To Be Amusing

By Crashing Vor   Sun Jul 29, 2012    Original

The headlines are rolling. The diaries are scrolling. Editors and producers are choosing which breath-taking declaration will win the lede, unilateral, amateur diplomacy or unilateral, amateur warmaking.

It doesn't matter, but for those following along, both the Washington Post and New York Times have chosen "Romney Declares War on Iran" over "Romney Declares War on Palestinians." Still, as I say, it doesn't matter. Mitt Romney, a half-formed man-child who made a splash in the corporate takeover game and mailed in a term as a state governor, has single-handedly undone decades of careful diplomacy and put the United States and its armed forces in danger.

What is perhaps saddest about this turn of events is that Mitt Romney himself doesn't give two shits about Israel. A Mormon, not a fundamentalist, he likely does not harbor beliefs necessitating Israel's triumph or destruction or crowning or dethroning. For Mormons, this continent has become the center of celestial concern, the "New Jerusalem." The old one was simply stage for the prelude of the real revelation.

So why would he stand on a terrace overlooking the "old" Old City and offer up our security to the crowd like Pilate offering a Barabbas for Jesus deal? What is so dear and holy to him that he is willing to trade our troops, our sailors, our flyers on the table to purchase it?

The presidency, of course. The dream of his father. The perfect picture of himself and his beloved wife waving from the portico of the White House, ultimate Prom King and Queen. He has stolen and destroyed and tax-dodged his way to wealth unimaginable but this final attaboy, this final "such a good son" has eluded him. And he must have it.

Like Israel, the actual job means nothing to him. He's made it clear that he intends to leave the policy and direction and management to others. He just wants that picture of him and Ann waving from that house.

But even a man of his wealth can't afford to simply pull out the AmEx black card and buy the office. For that he needs help from other obscenely wealthy men, men with their own agendas. And, since he cares nothing for actual policy, for a "vision thing," he's willing to let them exercise theirs, in exchange for their money (hello, Mr. Adelson, hello, Mssrs. Koch) or their credibility (hello, Mr. Cheney, hello, Mr. Bolton).

Up until now, it has been great fun watching Mr. Romney's awful turn in the role of presidential candidate, culminating in a London run unmatched in the history of comedic theater.

Tonight, the laughter dies. Let us pray that is all that does.

A correction: It has been pointed out that I am mistaken in my assumption that Mr. Romney, as a Mormon, is not obsessed with fantasies of world war centered on Israel as a requirement to fulfill his religion's prophecies. I confess I'm not well-versed in that faith's tenets.

So nuclear conflagration over that itty bit of real estate is central to LDS doctrine. Okay. I think my title is more apt than ever.

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