Yes, my Internet connection is still going as slow as honey in Alaska. I did manage to browse the Internet and find a little post making some fun of Republican Mitt Romney, so I now present it to you.


The Chronicles of Mitt: May 23, 2012


Hello, human diary. It is I, Mitt Romney. Today I gave a speech at the Latino Coalition annual economic summit. This was good, because it had the word "economic" in it; it also had the word "Latino" in it, however, which was the trickier part. I have found connecting to ethnic units to be quite difficult, during this campaign. For some reason they seem to be suspicious of my intentions. Immigration seems to be a sensitive topic in this community. I have tried in the past to thread that needle with what I thought was a perfectly sensible proposal, which is that we simply make life in America so miserable for immigrants that they self-deport. The benefits of this policy would be numerous; in addition to reducing government costs by outsourcing immigrant deportation to the immigrants themselves, it turns out that most of my other polices would have the side effect of making non-wealthy members of the country quite miserable already, which means very little additional work would have to be done. This self-deportation policy was, alas, not well received by the ethnic unit community. I still do not fully understand why, but Eric F. has stated that I am not to speak of it again. It is at times like these that I wish I still had access to the undocumented workers that used to work for me, so that I may discuss my ideas on the subject with them, and perhaps receive suggestions on how better to make the lives of undocumented workers less bearable in general. Alas, I was forced to downsize them because I was running for office, for Pete's sake. (Note to self: Pete still owes me for that one. Discuss it with him.) Regardless, my speech today to the ethnic units was satisfactory. I successfully addressed the immigration issue by removing all mentions of it from my speech, thus solving the problem. Not mentioning things is proving to be among my greatest campaign assets, and Eric F. believes we should strive to do more of it. Original

Those Crazy Folks In Arizona And Their New immigration Laws

Ladies and gentlemen, it is finally a cold day in hell for me. for the first time that I can remember, I am siding with a Republican law. Sorry ACLU, Al Sharpton, and the remainder of those bleeding hearts out there who think that it is wrong for a state to do something about an influx of illegals coming into the state every day. the federal government has done nothing to stop the flow of illegals, and they have had plenty of time to come up with a plan that works. Now. it is our turn!
My family owns quite a bit of land in and around Tucson, which happens to be 40 miles or so from the U.S./Mexico border. Much of the property is located in between the city and the border and we've had more than our share of illegals cutting through our fences, stealing our tools or whatever they can find, and harassing our employees. I guess that we could help them out with their fears of racial profiling by just shooting them when they are caught on our turf. We can do that if we so desire.
Anyway. here is the problem which I beleive many people are having with the new law.

…state and local police to determine the status of people if there is “reasonable suspicion” that they are illegal immigrants and to arrest people who are unable to provide documentation proving they are in the country legally.
It also makes it a crime to transport someone who is an illegal immigrant and to hire day laborers off the street. neoneocon.com

Everyone seems to be worrying about "racial profiling.” So what? You cannot move the illegals out of the state/country unless you know who you are looking for. Everyone knows that it is the Latino persuasion who produces the most illegals in the state of Arizona. In many cases, those Latino's who are here legally have a habit of placing their illegal friends and relatives in their own homes in order to keep them from getting arrested and deported.
Asking for an i.d. and/or legal documents for proof that you belong here is not racial and it isn't profiling! that is just the way that things have to be for the time being.
Critics and those other bleeding hearts can rant and rave all that you want, but, something has to be done about this problem. 70 percent of Arizona voters approve of this measure so the rest of you jack-asses can get over it. If you have a better idea that will solve the problem and that will actually work, then lets hear it!
I didn't think so.
Arizona Governor, Jan Brewer:

"We in Arizona have been more than patient waiting for Washington to act, but decades of inaction and misguided policy have created a dangerous and unacceptable situation."