Be INFORMED

Friday, July 20, 2012

A GUIDE TO UNDERSTANDING THE EXTENT OF THE EUROPEAN AND U.S. DEBT

  I was sent this simple explanation in an email. I have no idea who the original creator is.

Helga is the proprietor of a bar.  She realizes that virtually all of her customers are unemployed alcoholics and, as such, can no longer afford to patronize her bar.  To solve this problem she comes up with a new marketing plan that allows her customers to drink now, but pay later.
Helga keeps track of the drinks consumed on a ledger (thereby granting the customers' loans).
Word gets around about Helga's "drink now, pay later" marketing strategy and, as a result, increasing numbers of customers flood into Helga's bar. Soon she has the largest sales volume for any bar in town.
By providing her customers freedom from immediate payment demands Helga gets no resistance when, at regular intervals, she substantially increases her prices for wine and beer - the most consumed beverages.
Consequently, Helga's gross sales volumes and paper profits increase massively.  A young and dynamic vice-president at the local bank recognizes that these customer debts constitute valuable future assets and increases Helga's borrowing limit.  He sees no reason for any undue concern, since he has the debts of the unemployed alcoholics as collateral.
He is rewarded with a six figure bonus.
At the bank's corporate headquarters, expert traders figure a way to make huge commissions, and transform these customer loans into DRINKBONDS. These "securities"  are then bundled and traded on international securities markets.
Naive investors don't really understand that the securities being sold to them as "AA Secured Bonds" are really debts of unemployed alcoholics. Nevertheless, the bond prices continuously climb and the securities soon become the hottest-selling items for some of the nation's leading brokerage houses.
The traders all receive a six figure bonus.
One day, even though the bond prices are still climbing, a risk manager at the original local bank decides that the time has come to demand payment on the debts incurred by the drinkers at Helga's bar. He so informs Helga. Helga then demands payment from her alcoholic patrons but, being unemployed alcoholics, they cannot pay back their drinking debts. Since Helga cannot fulfill her loan obligations she is forced into bankruptcy. The bar closes and Helga's 11 employees lose their jobs.
Overnight, DRINKBOND prices drop by 90%. The collapsed bond asset value destroys the bank's liquidity and prevents it from issuing new loans, thus freezing credit and economic activity in the community.
The suppliers of Helga's bar had granted her generous payment extensions and had invested their firms' pension funds in the BOND securities.  They find they are now faced with having to write off her bad debt and with losing over 90% of the presumed value of the bonds.   Her wine supplier also claims bankruptcy, closing the doors on a family business that had endured for three generations; her beer supplier is taken over by a competitor, who immediately closes the local plant and lays off 150 workers.
Fortunately though, the bank, the brokerage houses and their respective executives are saved and bailed out by a multibillion dollar no-strings attached cash infusion from the government.
They all receive six a figure bonus.
The funds required for this bailout are obtained by new taxes levied on employed, middle-class, non-drinkers who've never been in Helga's bar.
Now that explains it quite well, don't you think?

Friday Funnies:Obama and Romney Edition

Jimmy Fallon: "A new poll found that 54 percent of Florida voters think the country is on the wrong track under President Obama. While the rest of Florida’s voters still think Teddy Roosevelt is president."

"President Obama said 1992’s dream team was better than this year’s Olympic basketball team. Which is interesting because a lot of people think 1992’s president is better than this year’s president."

"During last night's USA-Brazil basketball game, President Obama gave Michelle a kiss when they were shown on the kiss cam. That's cute. It explains why everyone was like, 'quick, put him on the fix the economy cam!'"

Jon Stewart, Mitt Romney's "retroactive retirement" from Bain: "In 2012 I realized the company I was CEO of in 1999 did things that would hurt my presidential run in the present, so I retroactively wasn't there."

"Nobody cares that Mitt Romney is rich. It's Romney’s inability to understand the institutional advantage that he gains from the government’s tax code largesse, that’s a little offensive to people, especially considering Romney's view on anyone else who looks to the government for things like, I don't know, food and medicine."

Jay Leno: "Well, President Obama and first lady Michelle went to see the U.S. Olympic basketball team play Brazil the other day. And during the game, they were put on the kiss cam. At first, they didn't kiss and the crowd booed them. Then the camera went back to them. And they finally did kiss. Isn't that amazing? A politician in Washington caught on camera kissing a woman he's actually married to?"

"The Obama administration has reportedly told Syrian rebels they can't help them until after the election. So at least they're consistent. That's the same thing they're telling us. 'Can't help you until after the election."

"Every American athlete who wears the Chinese made uniforms will get a free bootleg copy of the new Batman movie."

"During a fundraiser a country club in Mississippi, Mitt Romney said the GOP is a party focused on helping the poor. See, his wife Ann is right, he is funny. He can makes jokes."