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Yes, my Internet connection is still going as slow as honey in Alaska. I did manage to browse the Internet and find a little post making some fun of Republican Mitt Romney, so I now present it to you.
The Chronicles of Mitt: May 23, 2012
Hello, human diary. It is I, Mitt Romney. Today I gave a speech at the Latino Coalition annual economic summit. This was good, because it had the word "economic" in it; it also had the word "Latino" in it, however, which was the trickier part. I have found connecting to ethnic units to be quite difficult, during this campaign. For some reason they seem to be suspicious of my intentions. Immigration seems to be a sensitive topic in this community. I have tried in the past to thread that needle with what I thought was a perfectly sensible proposal, which is that we simply make life in America so miserable for immigrants that they self-deport. The benefits of this policy would be numerous; in addition to reducing government costs by outsourcing immigrant deportation to the immigrants themselves, it turns out that most of my other polices would have the side effect of making non-wealthy members of the country quite miserable already, which means very little additional work would have to be done. This self-deportation policy was, alas, not well received by the ethnic unit community. I still do not fully understand why, but Eric F. has stated that I am not to speak of it again. It is at times like these that I wish I still had access to the undocumented workers that used to work for me, so that I may discuss my ideas on the subject with them, and perhaps receive suggestions on how better to make the lives of undocumented workers less bearable in general. Alas, I was forced to downsize them because I was running for office, for Pete's sake. (Note to self: Pete still owes me for that one. Discuss it with him.) Regardless, my speech today to the ethnic units was satisfactory. I successfully addressed the immigration issue by removing all mentions of it from my speech, thus solving the problem. Not mentioning things is proving to be among my greatest campaign assets, and Eric F. believes we should strive to do more of it. Original
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Internet Problems
I am having the worst time with my Internet connection ever since that damned solar eclipse on Sunday night. Not sure if that has anything to do with it, but my Internet speed is something like 17 times slower than it is supposed to be. Of course, my ISP says that there is nothing wrong, but I beg to differ. It took over 10 minutes for my posting page to fully load! WTF? Needless to say, there will not be much posting from myself until this crap is fixed.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Mitt Romney, George W. Bush share post-endorsement phone call
By Hunter on Fri May 18, 2012 Daily Kos Original
The other day George W. Bush, or as Mitt Romney calls him, He Who Must Not Be Named, gave Mitt a rousing endorsement in the form of a four-word "I'm for Mitt Romney" muttered from behind closing elevator doors.
Given that, I would have liked to be a fly on the wall for this one:
Bush and Romney spoke with each other after the former president offered his fleeting support for the Republican candidate in an elevator this week, a person on Romney’s campaign tells ABC News.That's some top-secret phone calling right there. He won't even say whether Mitt thanked Bush?The Romney aide wouldn’t disclose details of the call and wouldn’t say if Romney thanked Bush for his endorsement.
"Hi George. Look, I'm pretty sure we talked about this, and I thought I was pretty clear on how you needed to not say anything for the next six months."
"Sorry, Mitt. It just slipped out. Want me to take it back?"
"Jeez ... no, no, that'd probably look worse. All right, we'll just go with it. But now please, please promise me you won't say anything supportive of me from now on? I mean Christ, George, your favorability ratings are still three points behind leprosy."
"Yeah, but I think I'm gonna be vindicated anytime now. You seen how much brush I've been clearing lately? I fuckin' hate brush. Little thorny terrorists, all of them."
"Fine, George, whatever. Listen, I have to go. Just please, take a vow of silence or something. Now's not the time."
Yeah, I like that version pretty well. The other version would be that Bush and Mitt actually get along fine and have a lot of the same ideas, on things like tax cuts, hurting poor people and not really giving a flying damn about any of that foreign policy stuff unless they're forced to by outside events, and that Mitt's actually sucked in a lot of old Bush advisers because hey, their advice all worked out great the first time around, but that version's just too scary to contemplate.
Slapping Down Mitt Romney's Job Creation Claims, Yet Again
By Laura ClawsonFollow for Daily Kos Labor on Thu May 17, 2012
Early in the primaries, Mitt Romney insisted he had created 100,000 jobs through his work at Bain Capital, but faced with stiff challenges to that number from his Republican primary rivals and the media, his job creation claims fell precipitously. Now, Romney is back to claiming 100,000 jobs created, fact-checkers around the nation are back to saying, wearily, "No, Mitt. You didn't. That's a lie."
Bloomberg's latest fact-check reiterates the key point that Bain Capital does not track how many jobs it creates or eliminates, for the simple reason that it doesn't give a damn. Bain is about creating more wealth for its already wealthy investors. Jobs, layoffs—workers' lives—are a largely irrelevant byproduct of that in the Bain worldview. So Romney's claims about the jobs created by his Bain work are slapdash, post-hoc inventions.
Furthermore, office supply retailer Staples accounts for 90,000 of the jobs Romney says he created, but Bain's investment in Staples was just $2 million, "a minuscule amount when compared to the firms other investments." And:
[E]ven at those investments made while Romney was at the firm, a number of people at companies bought by Bain told Bloomberg News that he had little involvement in the day-to-day operations of the companies. Rather, Romney left the oversight and daily management to his associates and executives running the businesses.So Romney wasn't deeply involved in oversight of companies Bain invested in in general, but we're to credit him for every job created at a company in which Bain invested a relatively small amount of money. Got that?
As Jed Lewison has pointed out, these days, Romney only makes the 100,000 jobs claim in front of a friendly audience, but he does keep making it no matter how often it's debunked. As if we're as forgetful as he wants (and needs) us to be.
Tags: Mitt Romney, Bain Capitol, Jobs, Politics, Current Events
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